Finding My Way Back
“But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31). This is the first bible verse I read for a devotional (devo) time (one on one time with the Lord) I had this summer. It was my first devo in about three years.
When I went off to college, I went in with a totally different plan than what I ended up doing. I was going to train to be a leader for Young Life, study Business and French, and go into fashion as a buyer. Well being a senior in college now, I am studying Communications and Digital Studies, working in retail, interning with the university to work with social media, cheerleading, wanting to go into fashion as a stylist or social media runner, and I am no Young Life leader. Young Life changed my life when I was in high school, and when I did not have the time to participate in it in college, I was saddened. However, as I learned in church all of my life, the Lord has your life and plans all set out for you (he knows how your whole life will be before you’re even born). Now, I don't want to preach in this post, as not everyone of my reader's have the same beliefs as me, but I do want to share my journey I took to get myself back into doing devo's.
This past summer, I had a lot of realization with my life. I started making plans for after I graduate, deciding where I want to go, and what I want to do. I was kind of lost. This past year was really rough for me, as I started over by changing my major, and waking up to the fact that I only have one year of school left after I finish junior year, and I had NO CLUE what I wanted to do. Even though I have always planned on going into fashion, I had no idea where I wanted to start, or even where to start for that matter. I felt as though I was alone and had no one to truly talk to about these struggles. That's when I realized there is one person who will always listen. I began to pray again; not every night, but on nights that I had to myself. I'd talk to the Lord as though he was an old friend, and tell him about all of my thoughts and plans. After prayer, I always felt content, and really felt as though he had listened. This summer, I was going through my book shelves, to de-clutter a bit, and came across my Bible. I decided to start pinteresting some devo layouts, and came across one that I really liked to start out with. It was devoted to encouragement, which is what I really needed. Isaiah 40:31 was the first verse on the layout, so I went out to the docks in my neighborhood around sunset to have my devo. I read the verse, wrote a journal entry on it, and then I prayed to the Lord. I was so happy afterwards, and felt as though all had been forgiven.
These last three years of college, I felt as though I had lost my relationship with the Lord. I did not pray as much, never went to church, was not participating in campaigners or anything like that; but the Lord always forgives regardless. I just felt as though he truly reached out to the nights I would pray about feeling lost, and that he helped lead me back to devo's. I hope to make it one of my priorities this year, as I want to rebuild our relationship and keep growing from here on out.
