A Year Abroad: An Experience of a Lifetime
"So you were like a nanny right?"; "Oh you must have had it so easy!"; "You must have travelled SO MUCH!"; "You were basically on a year's vacation."
These are many things people say when they hear that I au paired abroad in France. This post is going to be about my overall experience of living abroad, not my au pairing and teaching assistant experience (as I want to respect my host family and school's privacy).
Moving to France has always been on my bucket list, and it finally happened! And although I loved the friends I made and the food I ate, it was not all it cracked up to be. For starters, I went to France to solely improve my French, which is hard to do when most people heard my American accent, and would switch from French to English (even if I continued speaking French). Some people were rude or unaccepting of a 'tourist' being there. Now, I am not saying all French people are rude, as that is not the case. Most conversations I had with the French were great, and they were very friendly, but there was the occasional French person having that look of, "Oh just go back to the United States"! It was really hard for me to have strangers act this way. I am very positive person, and I am a HUGE extrovert; and I like to think that most Americans act this way as well. I actually had quite a few French people stereotype me as an American before even hearing me speak because I look so happy. Apparently, I am not the only one who thinks Americans have that positive attitude either! The behavior of people was my biggest struggle in France, and it was seen in other countries I visited too. But some of my vacations (like Greece) were filled with nothing but smiling, happy people who were so welcoming! Again, I did not experience a lot of rude behavior from the French, but it was more than I am used to back home in a small town of Virginia (where people give you a look if you don't wave back at them) that it did get to me more than it should have.
Now that the negative part of my experience is out of the way, it's time to talk about the overall. If you want to live abroad, I 100% support you in doing so, but if it is not with a study abroad program, it is not the same as students abroad experience. A lot of people stated that au pairing is just like study abroad. Although you still have school when studying abroad (unless it's like the volunteer program I did in South Africa), it is not at all the same as being an au pair. For starters, I took care of children for most of the day, and only got the weekends off, where as study abroad students have their own freedom. I lived with the family I worked for, and although I felt apart of it, I still acted like a guest for the whole 7 months. I never truly felt like myself when in the house with them, as I felt as though I'd be crossing a boundary or upset them (when in reality, they probably would not have cared). That is just how I am, and if any of my past college roommates are reading this, they can probably agree with the fact that I am SUPER OCD; when my parents are probably thinking, "ummm are you kidding?". I have always been this way when not at home, and so I just felt like I really could only be myself when I was out of the house and in Paris on the weekends. I felt weird when I would dress up to go clubbing (even when my host parents said they did not mind and would never judge, as they were young once too), but this was me thinking the worst. In the end, I was always able to go to my host mom, and we actually had so many amazing talks while I lived there. Our last was definitely the hardest, when asking her if it was okay to go home because of how scared I was to be away from my family and home during these times. She gave me a hug, and said "You have been an absolute treasure to us, and although we are sad to see you go, we understand that this is the best option for you". It was that night I truly knew I had become apart of their family.
Being an au pair is not a vacation; it is hard work. In fact it is probably the most difficult job I've ever had. You practically are the parent for 5 days out of the week, but even when you are off duty, you are not really off, as you are still under the same roof as the kids and parents. So if there is a fight, or a game being played, or even a homework question, you sometimes still may have to help sort things out. I got lucky with my host family, but there are some au pairs who do not have as good of an experience, and are treated more like an employee than an actual member of the family. Some don't even get as long of vacations as I did when I had my time off. If learning French isn't one thing I took away from this experience, it is that parents do not get enough credit (especially mom's - sorry to all the dad's who are reading this right now. Also if my dad is reading this - I love you. Please don't take this personally haha). They really do SO MUCH for us. I still love kids and am a huge fan of taking care of them, but I have reconsidered on having them one day. This could change in a few years, but for now, I am very grateful for my freedom. But I will forever applaud the parents out there in the world. I have a huge amount of respect for you all, and cheers to you. You're killing it!
Everyone has asked me how I was able to be away from home for so long, and not be homesick. the truth is, I was homesick.... badly. That was one of the sole reasons I came home at Christmas instead of going to another country in the world. I wanted to see my family and friends, and the price for a ticket home was surprisingly cheap. I am also truly grateful to be home now during this pandemic. I don't think I would be handling social distancing as well if I was stuck in France right now, and not with my family here in Virginia. I'm happy to be safe at home with my family, but am sad that my experience had to come to an end.
This experience changed me for the better. It forced me to step out of my comfort zones. A lot of my friends have noticed how much more confident I am now. I am a lot more comfortable expressing my thoughts and opinions, but am also comfortable in the way I look. I also (as they stated) am not "taking anyone's sh*t". Living abroad, and being alone, you have to defend yourself sometimes; and I learned that staying silent or pretending it's okay to be talked down to was not an option, so I would defend myself. If you had asked me to speak up for myself a year ago, I would have said, "but what will others think of me". You also have to be ready to expect the unexpected, like when my phone got stolen in Paris and I had to go buy a new one the next day; or when I arrived and my host family (who told me I didn't need a Visa) realized I did... so I said, "no worries, I'll live on my Swiss passport" only to find out it had expired and I had to get it renewed (the one time I was so happy someone spoke English to me)! There was also the great unexpected, like meeting new people; going to see Khalid with my friend, Kaylah, for free; and the many amazing memories I made.
I am grateful for the life I have here in Virginia, and all that I have in the states. I'm happy to be home, and hopefully will get to see my friends soon and start working (friendly reminder to keep practicing that social distancing, and to stay safe and healthy)! But, I do miss my amazing friends that I made in France (some have gone home to their families as well, while some are still sticking it out in France). I miss my runs to the bakery for the BEST sandwiches ever; a stroll in Paris, just because; seeing the Eiffel Tower light up and twinkle at night (still the best sight to see without a doubt); my host family; the teachers at the high school I worked at; my students; I miss France. This experience was one I will truly never forget, and hope that I can return to Europe one day to travel to some more amazing places.
If you are interested in living abroad, au pairing, etc. feel free to message me for any questions you may have!
Until next time, France!
